Read between lines
A man forgot his wedding anniversary. His angry wife demanded: ”Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 100 in under 4 seconds!“
Next morning wife found a parcel in the driveway containing a new bathroom scale…His funeral will be held on Friday!!
Little boy asks his spinster aunt: ”Why have you never married?“ she replied: ”because I have a parrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man, the parrot swears like a man, the dog farts continuously like a man and the cat strays at night , like a man!“
As I grow older my body becomes like an old motorcar: every time I sneeze, cough or sputter either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires.
SAM and JIM were sitting on a bus when a lady gets on the bus with a face made up to kill – blood red lips, several layers of base and such massive eyelashes that she can barely keep her eyes open. There is no vacant seat, so she stood hanging onto the leather strap. ”Hi Jim“, shouted SAM, ”why don’t you offer the lady your seat?“ when Jim replied; ”But why, a painting is made to hang!“
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