A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.
She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."
"What did you not understand ?"
And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"
"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"
“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!
What a year!!
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Weird College mascots
Gaylord the Camel (Campbell University)
The fact that Campbell University chose the fighting camel as its mascot is forgivable. After all, Campbell Camels have a nice ring to it. But then to name him Gaylord? Inexcusable. No opposing team is afraid of a camel named Gaylord, especially one who dances like this.
Super Frog the Horned Frog (Texas Christian University)
TCU has been using the horned toad as a mascot since 1897. The horned toad might sound like a strange choice of a mascot, but it's the state reptile of Texas, and Native Americans in the Southwest believed this five inch long frog had ancient powers. The mascot's name used to be Addy the All-American Frog, but became Super Frog in 1979.
Geoducks (Evergreen State)
Pronounced “gooey duck”, the geoduck isn't a waterfowl, as you might suspect, but a mollusk. It's native to the Pacific Northwest, which explains why the college chose it as a mascot. It looks like a penis-shaped saltwater clam, and the best part is the Evergreen State Geoduck Fight Song:
Go, Geoducks go,
Through the mud and the sand,
let's go.
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.
Go, Geoducks go,
Stretch your necks when the tide is low
Siphon high, squirt it out,
swivel all about,
let it all hang out.
Boll Weevils (University of Arkansas)
At six millimeters long, not many schools boast a mascot smaller than that of the University of Arkansas at Monticello. Still, despite its diminutive size, the boll weevil is a formidable opponent — after all, it is the most destructive cotton pest in the United States. With that in mind, it is curious why men's athletics at Monticello are represented by the Boll Weevils whereas the women are known as the “Cotton Blossoms.”
The Fighting Okra (Delta State University)
Ah, another vegetable mascot, and one that's appropriate for a Mississippi school! The vegetable that looks like mucous is their mascot. The irony of all of this is that the students wanted something green (their uniforms are green) and southern, and all they could think of was okra!
Brutus the Buckeye (Ohio State)
Brutus Buckeye is the athletics mascot of The Ohio State University. Brutus is a student dressed in Buckeye colors with a headpiece resembling an Ohio Buckeye nut. Brutus has appeared since 1965, with periodic updates to design and wardrobe. As a member of the cheerleading team Brutus Buckeye travels to many athletic and non-athletic events around The Ohio State University and makes appearances around Columbus.
Billiken (St. Louis University)
The Saint Louis Billiken is ... well, what the heck is it? He looks like a vampire or an alien or both. This made up mascot was picked because its likeness resembled that of one of the coaches. Billiken is a representation of good luck.
Scrotie (Rhode Island School)
Without a doubt, one of the strangest college sports mascots has to be Scrotie, the unofficial mascot of the Rhode Island School of Design. The costume is unique and at the same time horrific, looking exactly like a giant penis wearing a red cape with the scrotum hanging beneath.
The school's basketball team is known as the Balls, and their slogan is, "When the heat is on, the Balls stick together." The hockey team is called the Nads, and their cheer is "Go Nads!" Scrotie was created to cheer on the Nads in 2001. Despite his status as an unofficial mascot, he's present at all the games and widely accepted by the student body.
Sammy the Banana Slug (University of California-Santa Cruz)
The University of California-Santa Cruz is home to Sammy the Banana Slug. A banana slug is a slimy yellow mollusk found near the northern California coastal community of Santa Cruz. They adopted the slug as a mascot as a commentary on the overemphasis of athletics at many universities. Attempts to change to mascot to something else have all failed.
Fighting Pickles (North Carolina School of the Arts)
Apparently, the Fighting Pickles was first suggested as a joke in 1972 when the North Carolina School of the Arts decided to have a contest to create a mascot. As with many mascot-choosing contests the unlikely vegetable won, giving it not only the honor of becoming the school's official mascot but probably the most ridiculous mascot of all time. Then again, what's your school's mascot …
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Kid singing Britney Spears scared to death by his mom
This is original video:
and this is the best part of the original video:
and this is the best part of the original video:
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
10 Levels of Intimacy In Today's Communication
The digital age has altered the means by which we share both our strongest opinions and our most closely held secrets. Graphic designer Ji Lee’s '10 Levels of Intimacy in Today’s Communication' is an illustration of how we now convey our thoughts to others.
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